wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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