Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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