He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
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Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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