so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
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call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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