Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize