i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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