My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
