I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Small penises have feelings too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize