all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
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I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
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We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize