How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Randomize
