He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
