How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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