do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize