Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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