He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize