I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
