Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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