Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
