do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
