We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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