Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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