Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize