I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
