And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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