Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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