It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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