Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize