Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
