smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
