in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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