GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
