Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
