After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
