yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
