K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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