Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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