Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
