why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize