"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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