you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
