Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
