I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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