I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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