it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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