As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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