we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
