fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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