new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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