the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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