Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.