If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs