I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.