I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat