It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.