I'm drive I can fine osifer
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I will find, mount, and marry that person.